If someone hates you for no reason, give that motherfucker a reason
We are so hilarious. I feel bad for the people who don't get to listen to our conversations and enjoy our hilariousness
This is by far your most fucked up idea ever... I'll be there in 10 minutes
I'm very busy doing things I don't need to do in order to avoid doing anything I'm actually supposed to be doing
I drink while I work out. I call it Bacardio
I can tell by your sarcastic undertones, rude comments and sheer lack of common decency, that we're going to be best friends in no time
Why is "patience" a virtue? Why can't "hurry the fuck up" be a virtue?
I want to like people, but they're just so fucking stupid
When I said I'd always be there for you I didn't realize you were so fucking needy
On a scale of one to Adele, how tough was your breakup?