"So what are you going to do." Jones gasped through his pain sputtered gasps." "No need," The man smiled dragging his knife lightly down Jones' back causing him to screech. "You'll kill yourself before I even come close.
"Sebastian under no circumstances are you going to perform sick!" "I watched you puke all over their expensive couch so no I'm not going to withstand another trainwreck! We are forfeiting" "NO! I'M THE LEADER!
Everyone is immortal in the distant future. To keep life interesting, most people "reset" their memories every few centuries so they can experience life anew. Your reset malfunctioned, and you've just received thousands of years of lost memories.